Tuesday, June 28, 2011

CD3 Update

I had my CD3 work up today, which included my injections training. No biggie. I picked up my Gonal-F perscription....A 900iu pen for $690! Plus my trigger shot for $70 so I'd have it ready. So the original plan was 75iu a day....I was thinking ok, I can handle that price. One pen may be enough. Then my nurse called with my bloodwork results. My FSH and E2 levels were elevated so they want to start me at 225iu!! I'm kinda freaking out about that. Basically 225iu will last 4 days. $690 for 4 days!?!
It is what it is and I will do what I need to, but wow. Can't I for once just catch a break and have my body play nice? This is all so frustrating.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

And another BFN

I have tested the last 3 days and all negatives. Not even a glimmer of a line. POOP. I am really angry this time around. Mostly just at the why. Everything looked great this month, our timing couldn't have been better, and still  no dice. I was hoping to surprise Mr. DF on Father's Day and of course when I saw the BFN, I couldn't keep it from him. I cried for about an hour and a half. How to you pretend you didn't just see a BFN then?? He took it really hard this time. He cried, repeatedly asked me why this was happening to us, and threw things. Now that we've digested it, all we can do is move forward.
I spoke with my RE yesterday, who was totally bummed to here the news. I can tell he's really rooting for us. He wanted to try another round of Clomid, but after I spoke with him about our financial concerns and explained to him that we were emotionally ready to try the next step, he agreed to a low-dose of injectables.
Mr. DF and I talked about it last night and part of us wants to take a cycle off. Mr. told me it was in the end my decision since I do the majority of the work (lol). I slept on it and I think I want to go ahead and move forward. I don't want to wait. I think a cycle off will throw me out of the loop. I do think, however, that if this one doesn't work, I will need that break. Lets stay hopeful for now though, right?!
So I have put a call in to my nurse to hear about which meds so I can price them out and to see how exactly an inject cycle works as far as visits, etc. I just want to budget out next cycle as best as possible. The details could be the only thing that sways me into taking a break. I'll keep my everyone updated :)

Monday, June 13, 2011

Having a really bad day!

We had a little comment made to us this weekend that I can't get out of my brain. Mr. DF and a friend's dad were talking trash like guys do and our friends dad said to my husband "Your balls ain't sh!t, you can't even make any kids with them!" Long story short, I stormed out and we left. I just keep replaying it in my mind and am so hurt. I can't believe someone who is supposed to care about us would say something like that.
My boss basically told me I looked like crap today. He said I forgot to finish my hair this morning. Um no I scrunched it curly, it was meant to look like this.
Patients are bothering me with all their BS today.
The world is continuing to get pregnant without me, including girls who aren't trying.
I'm just having a poor me day. I really wish I could punch someone with no ramifications. Hopefully I can find a way to snap out of it.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Oh man! Back from Maui with my updates!

Man I haven't been on here forever!!
Maui was fantastic. Too short like every other vacation, but I was ready to see my puppies! :)
Let me tell you how my last 4 days went. My CD3 stuff all came back good so I was able to start meds in time. We came home the night of CD11 at about 11 p.m. Had to wake up at 6 the next morning to go to my monitoring u/s. Home by 9 and then I played in a 4 hour softball tournament. Everything was good to go so they triggered me that morning. I think my follies were 21, 14, and something else....sigh. I was tired! Ok so I went yesterday for IUI....Got up at 7 am, they were running way late so we didn't leave their office until about 11:30. He did an u/s after the IUI which showed that I was getting ready to O, but I wasn't quite there. Follies were at 22, 16, and 14. So they had me come back this morning for round two and did another IUI. Pretty sure I had already O'd by then, but this gives us the best chance.
These two IUIs were not as quick as the last. It took the Dr. forever to get the catheter into my uterus. I'm thinking 8 minutes of uncomfortable and awkward poking, rearranging, etc...I hope this is it. I'm tired. I'm drained. But after 20 hours of sleep in the last 4 days, of course I am. It might change once I'm rested.
So here we go again for another long 2 week wait. I feel much calmer this round, hopefully I remain that way until test day.
This whole post was probably a mess. I'm so tired, I don't even know if I'm making sense. Just wanted to update :)