I can't believe it has been one year. Unreal how fast time flies. I got pretty emotional as I tried to go to sleep last night. All of the sudden tears were just streaming down my face. I just remember how scared I was that night before and morning of. I know my entire family was as well. I remember looking into their eyes when we were saying our good byes and I love yous and seeing the fear that I was feeling. That maybe, I wouldn't make it. I had 100% confidence in my surgeon and his medical team, but you can't control when your time comes.
Last night I thought about my family and friends sitting in the waiting room for over four hours. That must have sucked! ;) The feeling I had when I woke up was the most amazing feeling of relief, it's truly indescribable. I remember seeing all the blurry faces of my family and friends coming in to see me. My little brother started crying because all of the tubes in my mouth freaked him out.
I also remember signing the word "mom" because the hurdle was over and we could now get back to starting a family. Obviously the fact that this hasn't happened yet makes me sad, but it is what it is.
One last thing I remember was the pain. I remember the Vicodin, Morphine, and Dilaudid that did almost nothing for me. And I remember Mr. DF complaining about how uncomfortable he was sleeping in a make-shift bed, made out of chairs. Proof that women are stronger than men!
Thanks to all who were there for me that day and who have been there for me since.